This Father’s Day I got a special visit from my son, that included a sit down and heart to heart conversation. The conversation wasn’t a surprise to me, I spend a lot of time talking with my children about the events that occur in their lives. The surprising thing about the conversation, is the fact that my son feels that he was raised correctly.
The reason I am so amazed, is because I never considered the job I did with my kids, “a good job.” There have been times that I feel I haven’t been the best father to my children. These times haunted me as I watched them grow. It was as if, I could see the errors I made as a father, in the choices they made throughout life. The possibility that I might have achieved my goal as a parent, to make children that can give something back to the world, is a bit humbling.
Being a parent is one of the most important things I have done in my life. I find that fatherhood is a difficult wonder, that can give you joy and cause angst. I remember watching each of my children as they ventured around our home on their first steps. The feeling of neglect, yes I said neglect, when I walked away from their kindergarten classrooms on their first day. I wanted each to look back and say “I can’t, I want to go home with you daddy.” Yes, I would have made them stay, but the emotion would have been great. Throughout it all, I have enjoyed the journey, but I never thought I was doing it right.
My son’s honest review of the job I’d done, was an incredible blessing, that I can’t help but share with my readers. Hearing that I have been able to raise a few wonderful children into adults, has made me more secure with the other things I attempt. The crazy thing is, I often believe that people can be the harshest judge, when judging themselves.
Knowing that I have been judging myself so harshly because of some personal idea of what a father should entail, tells me that I should be more lenient with myself. That my fatherly decisions may not have been right but they did the job. Isn’t that what parents hope when they’re raising their kids?
My advice to you, the reader that may not notice that you’re being a bit harsh with your own review of whatever work you’re doing; stop judging your efforts under such intense scrutiny. The world is full of people that seem all too happy to judge you and everything about you. Spend your time on this planet working towards your dreams, because this life is too short to worry about another person’s judgment of you. Strive for success because you will be judged either way.